


gambling isn't a sin if angels do it

by TheLoveSlug



Category: Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Angel Shenanigans and Betting Pools, Crack, Crossdressing, Extreme Crack, F/M, M/M, Mild Language, Not to be taken seriously, mentions of AUs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-03
Updated: 2011-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-26 20:38:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/287589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLoveSlug/pseuds/TheLoveSlug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A wizard, a mob boss, and a vampire walk into a bar. But it's not just a bar, it's a gay bar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	gambling isn't a sin if angels do it

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for this prompt: [So, a Wizard, a Mob Boss, and a Vampire Walk into a Bar, and... well? You tell me what happens:)](http://dresden-kink.dreamwidth.org/2675.html?thread=2845043#cmt2845043)
> 
> I think I may have just abused the privilege to write crack. :"D No regrets.

"So, a wizard, a mob boss, and a vampire walk into the bar and..." Jake starts to say.

There's much jealousy, an oblivious wizard, and then a wild threesome. We can all blame this on the booze, though I'm sure we know better.

But that just seems too easy. That's not what happened. Well, it does happen, but in another universe.

It's not just a bar, it's a gay bar. Harry looks good in red heels and a skirt-- I mean, just look at those _legs_. Hendricks has somehow managed to squeeze himself into one of the chairs, and this Amazon babe takes a seat on his lap. Because she fucking can, that's why, and nobody's gonna tell a valkyrie _no_.

Well, Hendricks doesn't say no, and he's smart like that. He's real smart--smarter than he looks. Smart enough that he's going to be sleeping with some _hot_ company tonight.

Why doesn't that happen to Harry all the time? Nobody's sure, but that's okay. Harry's not paying attention to Gard or Cujo, or even Thomas in all his overprotective brother, glitter-y glare glory. In fact, his attention is elsewhere.

Harry looks to his right, to corner and its occupant. The wall-flower is unmistakably male, all done up in bows and green, with eyes to match. They know exactly who the other is, so there's no words exchanged, just irritating smiles.

By the time they leave, there's lipstick stains on their necks and some purpling that's going to stay all through the morning. Gard's missing some buttons from her blouse and Hendricks wonders where his zipper went, while Thomas is making friends with Mr. Gin and Lady Tonic.

I clean one more mug and turn to Ur-- _Jake_ , who grins that grin that still makes my Vessel's legs feel like jelly.

 _I win_ , Jake mouths, and I know Raphael and Gabriel are going to be pissed, along with about half of the others, myself included. We're losing Grace (Holy Money is the best kind, let me tell you) faster than we’re winning it.

And then Jake steals a kiss, makes it deep and _so_ good before disappearing, probably to start rubbing his win in Heaven's face.

The human I inhabit flushes, and I feel the warmth all the way down to my essence. I squirm for a moment, and then pick up the mug that I had just cleaned, distracting myself with _more_ cleaning.

Sore losers, eat your _hearts_ out.


End file.
